Who I Need To Be

by Andrew Niesen

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released December 28, 2012




Andrew Niesen Foster, Kentucky

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Track Name: Head Will Spin Around
There are not enough slaves to build this pyramid
We’ve been whipping ourselves and going nowhere
Stare at the blinding sand, too tired to kid
Can’t escape this trap in which we are ensnared

Get yourself out of this rut
Don’t you dare get stuck
You’re far too bright
To stay here one more night

If you keep out of sight, you will disappear
You have to fight for all that’s dear
Don’t let it weigh you down
Or your head will spin around

Keeping the masters at bay
But we lose ground nearly every single day
Getting the decent to stay
Will keep the frontlines from starting to decay

Regain the confidence
To get rid this pestilence

You need to see yourself for who you are
Track Name: All I Want
I have finally found the fortitude
To tell you exactly what I’d do
To be the light shining in your life
I think of you every night

All I want is for you to be by my side
Sort the feelings you have so that you can decide
What you want ‘cause I’m going out on a limb
So you can be my “her” and I can be your “him”

You don’t even have to ask me why
I’m anxious for your reply
Please take your time, don’t give me some line
Because being with you makes me feel sublime

Now my secret is out
And I know you have your doubts
I want to get to know you
And we can start something new
Track Name: Don't Dream Anymore
Can’t imagine anything for my future
Loneliness is impossible to cure
When doing my best isn’t good enough
My screens provide manufactured love
Seems all I do is work and sleep
Don’t even care how much I eat
Working mostly to pay off the debt
From a past that I regret

Now I’m trying to keep up appearances but…
I don’t have dreams anymore
Because they’ve ripped them out of my head
Along with my heart
Lying on the floor
Kicked, beaten, and playing the role of the dead
While nailing the part

Eat, work, eat, work, eat, sleep, repeat

Don’t ever forget your desire
I know it’s hard to stay inspired
Track Name: Abrasive
Letting you kiss me was not my first mistake
You might want to look in the mirror before it breaks

I regret every moment, every second I spent because
You’re so abrasive it’s sickening
Oh how much you’ve put me through
Acting all anxious and frightening
This is the real side of you

I’ve learned that not just looks can be deceiving

Was anything you ever told me the truth?
The worst word to describe you would be couth

I know you’ve had it rough
That’s no excuse, for saying you’d bite my tongue off
You told me blood is what, you crave
Now I will never feel safe

I regret it, every single second

You're so abrasive
Not just looks can be deceiving
This is the real side of you
Track Name: Learn From My Mistake
Screaming at myself
This apathy is misery
Inaction cripples me
Starve for attention
Painful pension for invention
Of self destructive tension
Sitting here alone
Attempting to show what I know
Also how I can grow
Potential wasted
Days not hasted
Now I’ll face it

Learn from my mistake
Get what you can take
Don’t seclude yourself
This solitude is a living hell

How long will it take for me
To become who I need to be
It doesn’t matter, wrong or right
If you never tried

Ignore all the noise
You are enough so remain tough
Sometimes it can seem rough
Bury yourself
Lacking wealth, mental health
Dusty tool on the shelf
When your mind careens
And your teeming mind
Of bad dreams
Not as bad as it seems
I will just beseech
You all to teach
And not to preach

Failure is not the worst or only option

How long will it take?
Learn from my mistake
Track Name: First In Line
Now my mind deceives me
I only want what I don’t need
Furthering the notion
That happiness comes with a fee
I’m not the only one
So many end up just the same
Purveying our thoughts now
It makes me hang my head in shame

Sell me something
I’m a whore
I can’t help wanting more
I just feed
On my greed
Kill my brain
Just the same

Wasting my time and money
On the material
It’s an arms race of goods
Who’s superior?
Stealing our purpose
Living for the dollar sign
Fighting each other to be
First in line

What we want is paramount
To our insatiable thirst
The money’s burning a hole in our hearts
And that’s not even the worst
When being numb is your lifelong goal
What will be the ultimate toll?

We’re all bought and sold
Track Name: Perspective
I was young and naïve
And all your lies I believed
You are always contradicting
What you say and do are conflicting

My safety net is gone, I’m alone
I’ll be better off on my own
But sometimes you just need to fall
To see things from the right perspective

Your diary makes no sense
It is missing many pages
It was written a long time ago
And constructed in phases
Years wasted

You’re out of touch with reality
Now I’m free from the guilt you forced on me
Talking to myself but what’s new,
I’ve learned you were never true
Track Name: End Our Cruelty
Where do you draw the line between friend and food?
Does mass slaughter get you in the mood?

If there's a better way why shouldn't we
End our cruelty?

If you were in their shoes you would sing a different tune
Your tolerance keeps you from making a difference

You say you could not you really mean you don't care
Your brazen denial is more than I can bear

What is the expense
Of your happiness?

Track Name: Your Voice
If you don't want to be with another of the same gender then don't
If you think we'll back down from this cause
You need to take pause because we won't

This hate and bigotry distresses me
When we are supposed to live in the land of the free
It's not a choice, so make some noise
Show them they cannot quell your voice

This is the new racism
Times will change with or without you
Let us break down this schism
Open your eyes to a different view

What gives you the right
To deny others equality
We are all just people in a fight
It's the blind verses reality

What are you afraid of
Love is not a sin
Respect your fellow human
Track Name: Until Their End
A compromise was set
In the annals of time
That they would rule in turn
But some delay would not be crime
So they wield their weaknesses
And trade stabs of tradition
Yet in the end they fight for not
Every tactic is wasted ambition

Upon completion
We’re casually conflicted
Of mind and body
By elements, constricted
And when scepters change hands
We’re conflict casualties
Of body and mind
To fill and taint all seas

At the end of this war
We will ask what they fought for
The winner destined to defend
Until their, eventual, until their end

When houses are ripped apart
Entire cities lay in ruins
Entities crave ultimate power
Both balance and order are truant
We’ll look for a way to stop them
Or to delay the destruction
But everything continues in chaos
Their laws now serve no function